There’s no such thing as a “fearless” life

There is no truly “fearless” life.

The game is not about getting rid of fear all together — in fact, striving to resist or push fear away only makes it stronger. You don’t have to white-knuckle it pretending you’re not afraid of stuff. This isn’t real and won’t last very long anyway.

Fear will be a lifelong companion. It will ebb and flow and fade and become wildly loud and in your face. In some circumstances you won’t feel it at all. In others, it will be impossible to ignore.

The game changes when you can learn to see your experience with fear as a relationship.

Just like any other relationship, it takes tending, cultivating, attention, intention, and care.

It’s about increasing your capacity to hold and be with and stand alongside your fear. To say, you are welcome here.

It’s not fear that’s holding you back — it’s your relationship with fear that is getting in the way.

Fear is not negative. We’ve been programmed to believe that it’s the cause of all of our problems and we’d be better off without it.

But the reality is, courage and trust — those essential building blocks of a meaningful, out-of-the-ordinary and magical life — cannot exist without fear. They are shaped and sharpened and strengthened alongside fear. Because of it.

You’ve probably heard the quote, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but fear walking”.

Well, that’s true.

Working with it is what transforms it.

Fear is a biological impulse. It’s a protection mechanism. We need it to survive.

And, the more we come to welcome and understand it and bring compassion to it when it arises, the more fear comes to trust us. The quieter it becomes. The less it needs to run the show.  

So, here’s a simple practice I want you to try the next time you feel fear arising for you: 

Pause, breathe, and FEEL it.

That’s it. 

Instead of pushing it away, making it wrong, or trying to think about something else, pause what you’re doing and be with it for a moment. Even 30 seconds of breathing and presence with that feeling of fear will shift something within you.

And if you want to take this further, I offer some really powerful practices to work with fear in my free workshop, ENCHANTING THE UNKNOWN. You can learn more & access it here.

How might your life change if you could see fear as your ally, rather than your enemy?

Something to ponder…