The gift of grief

I am of the opinion that grief is one of the most beautiful, and most important aspects of the human experience. 

Difficult as it can be to go through, it signifies that you are participating.

Grieving shows that you are living intimately with life in such a way that you’ve truly opened your heart to someone, something, some chapter or experience.

You let it touch you, move you.

You let it in.

You let yourself love.

You let yourself experience goodness.

So much so, that you are moved to tears when it is gone.

I think this provides you with a gorgeous reflection.

Grief gives weight to the things that matter.

You know this — when you are grieving, it can be difficult to focus on other things. The aspects of life that are truly  important come much clearer into focus.

That quality of presence is such a gift. That connection to what is really important is a blessing. There are few other reasons in life as compelling as grief to slow down and just be.

Your grief will bring you back to your own heart.

This doesn’t mean that it will be enjoyable — it will be almost insufferably painful at times – but if you can tune into the gift of it, it will be filled with immense beauty at the same time.

I always think of poetry here — some of the most beautiful and moving poetry ever written is clearly written from a place of deep grief. There’s an access to another dimension of understanding from that space. I know you've felt it.

If you are currently moving through a period of grief, here is my advice to you:

Let yourself feel it.

Prioritize it.

Set aside time and space for it.

Dance with it.

Write with it.

Paint with it.

Walk with it.

Wail with it.

Let it connect you to the depth of your own heart.

Grief is non-linear and illogical. Grief is pure emotion, and it will serve you to let it flow through you when it wants to. 

I promise you that the grief will not go on forever — it is finite. And the sooner you allow yourself to feel it fully, the sooner you will move through its roughest seas into calmer waters. It may still visit you in the future from time to time, but its impact will not be nearly as great. It will be a memory of a time where you experienced something important, and you will be grateful that you gave it your full heart’s attention.

And finally, know that you are not alone. Grief is a great unifier – we each know what it feels like. In the depths of your grieving, you are connected to every other person on earth who has been moved by the same force. That's something powerfully beautiful, if you ask me.